Hello everyone, and first of, big apologies for the long silence. You know life is going well, when I have nothing to report. I figured I would give all of you a quick insight as to how the last few months have been for us, and what’s happening on my journey. Let me start aaaallll the way back in ….
Mexico
At the end of April, my entire family and I made a trip to Mexico. My Dad turned 50 at the beginning of July, and we haven’t done a family trip since Melissa & Andrew as well as Jeff and myself have been married. So off we went for a nice trip to warm weather to tank up on some Vitamin D and family time. It was a very lovely time to just relax and get closer to family. I even managed to get a nice tan over the week, well maybe with a small sunburn as well. ?
We had a great time representing and cheering on the Oilers as they were making their way through the play offs ?.
Family Visit
Once we got back my cousin, her husband and her little girl arrived a day later for a visit from Germany. We had such a nice time with them in the almost 3 weeks that they were here. I especially enjoyed getting to know her little girl. Unfortunetly, we weren’t able to meet her yet, so I was very excited to spend almost 3 weeks with her. She is absolutely adorable, if you can’t figure that out from the pictures.
And we even managed to make it out of an escape room together. All in all, we had an amazing time. Just after they left, Jeff and I headed over to Toronto to see Dr. K. as I already talked about In my previous blog update.
June
June started off with a great wedding of one of my lovely co-workers. Isn’t she gorgeous? It was nice to catch up with some girls from work and put my feelers out there how work has been lately. As most of you probably know by now, I am a Pediatric Intensive Care Nurse and over the last few months our unit has gone through a few changes by splitting into two separate units, to allow for more specialized treatment to some degree. Anyways, that being said there have also been many, many hiring sessions, which I definitely notice when I am walking through the unit on some of my visits. Sometimes I walk through and I hardly know anyone. But that’s a good thing right? Lots of new faces to get to know when I come back.
As the month went on, I underwent my second surgery on June 7, 2017 as also previously talked about in my blog post ‘Another swift recovery’. Once the round of antibiotics for my infection in the incision wound down, it was time to head into the mountains for another amazing wedding, and another stunning bride. One of my good friends tied the knot overlooking the mountains. It was beautiful and so was she!!
The next morning, Jeff and I left the mountains bright and early at 6am since we needed to make the 4 hour drive and be back at home no later than 10 am. That day was our baptism at church and our neighbour and good friend was getting baptized. So that was something we didn’t want to miss. I have to say, that was one of the most uncomfortable car rides I have had to date. Over the course of the weekend, something that had started out looking like a blackhead on my lower back a few months ago, turned angry and infected on me, almost overnight. By the time the baptism festivities started winding down, I could barely bend or walk anymore. Off to the medicenter we went. When the doctor entered the room and I showed him what I was dealing with, Jeff said his face said it all. I was whisked into their treatment room where I had another minor surgery. Basically the doc opened it up and made sure to remove all of the infection. To be honest, it was quite painful. When I was getting off the procedure table, Jeff had to steady me, thanks to my very shaky legs. For the next week, I went to the medicenter every single day to get packing done on the wound. For those of you not in the medical field, that means that they would stuff gauze inside of the cut everyday, take it out the next day and put new ones in. This is to help the wound to heal from the bottom up. Oh boy, was that ever painful. No prophylactic Tylenol or Advil was cutting it. It was literally just bite down and pray it’s over quickly. Since it was another major infection, I went on my second round of antibiotics within 2 weeks. Man did they ever kick my butt. At one point I had them check my thyroid levels because I was convinced they had to be off. I was an emotional mess. Luckily as soon as the meds were done that all fixed itself. Phew. ?
July
July was a very busy month, so much so that now that it’s over, I don’t know what to do with myself. It started off in the first week, with our annual Vacation Bible School in church, which I was a group leader at. I had the pleasure of being a ‘shepherd’, as our coordinator unofficially called us, which means I was responsible, with the assistance of my helper, for moving 23 very active children between the ages of 6-8 from station to station. It was a tiring, but yet rewarding week. Which wasn’t even that tiring because of the children, but because of everything else that was happening that week. As mentioned before my dad turned 50. This happened on July 5. His first birthday party was planned for the 4th, which ended with his sister and her husband as well as one of his brothers with his wife making their way from the US and Germany (respectively) to celebrate with him. On top of that, my moms sister with her family had also come for a visit from Germany. Needless to say, it was a very full house with lots of laughter and reconnecting and great family time. But that wasn’t all of the surprises my dad was getting that week. On the Saturday, we had a big picnic planned in a park, but before he could even get out of bed, my dad was surprised by his mom (also from Germany) who woke him up, and the remainder of his siblings, most of their spouses and even a few nephews. It was a crazy, busy time. But it was such a joy and so much fun. To see everyone again, and to show them first hand, that I really am doing quite well considering. I think sometimes it’s easier for my loved ones who haven’t seen me every step of the way, to just see me as me. And not me as my disease.
These two sweet girls, were in our bridal party as part of my flower girls/train carriers 🙂 it’s hard to believe that we celebrated their 10th birthday already. They loved it when the staff sang for them 5 years ago so from the moment they arrived here they had asked for us to take them back to Red Robin for an early birthday celebration! Love their reaction!!
Jeff and I also celebrated our 5th wedding anniversary in that week. It so crazy to think and look back and realize that it’s already been 5 amazing years. I don’t know what I would do without this man in my life. I love you to pieces honey ?
Just a little over a week ago, on July 24, 2017, Jeff and I made our way to Calgary to see another specialist who was recommended to us by Dr. K. when we were in Toronto. It wasn’t a very long visit, but as soon as Dr. R. walked in the room I knew I liked him, and I could trust him with my care. As he was explaining to me how he usually treats his patients and the reasons as to why he doesn’t believe I need any medications at this point, I was more and more confident that we had made the right choice by coming to see him. He agreed to work with my doctors here at home and support me in any way that I need, which is exactly what I was hoping for. It’s amazing how God provides. Every time I go see someone they tell me exactly what I needed and wanted to hear. It just affirms to me that I am on the right track to live with this stupid disease as best as I can, for as long as God will let me.
As we were almost at home, I received a phone call from my disability insurance. This was a person I didn’t usually deal with, but who was covering my case while my regular advisor is on vacation. Anyways, he basically scared me into an emotional breakdown. I don’t think he meant to but just the way things came across I was a wreck after that phone call. I have been working with my physio at the Cross Cancer Institute to get me back to somewhat full health on my shoulder that I can go back to work. She had recommended for me to go get a nerve conduction study done to see if my nerve is firing at all or if it’s completely paralyzed. So after that was done, which showed possible severe nerve damage to not just one but 3 nerves and a ton of muscle wasting, we decided that at this point, it would be senseless for me to stay home and not return to work, because it may never get better than what it is right now. I will have a follow up in 6 months to repeat the study again to see if there is any improvement or maybe even any decline. But in the mean time it’s just a waiting game. There is no magical fix they can give me to have my shoulder function normally again, so as long as I understand my limitations and the fact that I am more vulnerable to getting injured, my physio agreed with me that it would be time to return to work soon. She filled all the paper work and send it to my disability insurance. So when I got this phone call the guy on the other end basically told me that they were going to stop all of my benefits (so my monthly payments) if I didn’t return to work the follow week since my physio had ‘cleared’ me. First off I was flabbergasted. How is this even possible? Yes there is modified duties at my work, but most of those are at a desk in front of a computer which is something I can’t do at the moment. When I am writing my blogs, my computer is either on my lap or I am writing on my phone, sitting at an actual desk with my arm propped up to reach the mouse or the keyboard, for longer than 10-15 minutes gives me so much pain. Some days that even is the case when eating. I have to prop my arm up on the table for a few minutes to get some bites in and then lower it again into my lap and basically eat with my left hand, because the right shoulder starts aching so much. Being at the bedside, the job I love to do, would be possible for me as long as I had some sort of weight restriction and a gradual return to work plan, since … hello I haven’t worked in 14 months. After explaining all of that to him and the fact that my nursing license needed to be renewed (which could take up to 8 weeks and I was already starting to work on), he said ‘well if it’s your license that is preventing you to go back to work that isn’t our problem’. I was devastated. I mean I understand that there might be people out there taking advantage of disability claims and such, but come on, I have cancer! An incurable cancer that one day will most likely kill me! And I WANT to go back to work!! I am going crazy at home. Since the first day I met my physio I have been asking her when I can go back. I truly want to. Anyways he mentioned he would refer my file to their rehab specialists which was another thing that I was totally taken aback by since I thought that had been done months ago.
Oh well, now that it’s a bit more than a week ago and I have a lot more things figured out I am doing much better and I am no longer an emotional train wreck. It turns out that their rehab specialists is what I was waiting for now anyways since my own physio had send in the paperwork mid July.
This past week I spend a lot of time on the phone trying to get my registration taken care of which looks like I should have in the next couple weeks. I also met with the rehab specialist who will be writing up this gradual return to work plan for me, which means… PICU/PCICU… I am back!!!! (Almost?). I can’t tell you how much I am looking forward to coming back. Of course I am also super super nervous, but I am excited. I have missed the environment, the people, the patients, the work, the situations where you don’t know what to do and come out on the other end having bonded with your coworkers so much more. I have missed it all. So here is hoping and praying the day I will rejoin the hospital workforce isn’t far off anymore.
That is basically where we are at right now on my journey. Lots of amazing things have happened over the last 14 months. Some amazingly good. Some amazingly bad. But all have made me a better person, or so I hope. All have brought me closer to my family, to god and in a way even to myself. I am excited to have a bit more normalcy back into my life.
God this great!! He has a plan for me!!
