Happy Thanksgiving!!
I have to say this probably the most thankful I have ever been at any Thanksgiving I have been alive for so far. Not to say I haven’t been thankful in the past, but it is hard to have had the year I have had and not be overwhelmed with Thanks to God. Thankful for everything He has done in my life especially over the last 5 months.
He has been leading me and giving me strength every step of the way and I know that without him this journey would have been unbearable and unbeatable.
I am grateful for all the many people I have in my life, for the amazing support and for the many, many prayers that have been sent up on my behalf. I am happy and thankful for every single one of you who has come on this journey with Jeff and myself. We felt it in so many ways through thoughts as well as meals brought to us. We have felt it through smiles and words of encouragement as I walk past you. You have no idea how much that means to me.
Thankful for Health
When it comes to my health there are so many things I am unbelievably thankful for. There have been developments in my recovery that are just not explainable. At least not by modern medicine standards and everyone is astound by them. All I know is that God is definitely holding His hand over me, blessing me and healing me. Even in a time in which I should really be getting sicker not better.
When I first started my radiation treatments, and also many times along the way, I was told that the week after treatments are done, would be the worst week. I was told I would not be a happy camper. Also, I was told that all the side effects I was already experiencing would not start getting better for about one month after treatments are done, minimum. Now let me tell you how my last week has gone, even before I was able to ring the bell of hope.
Side effects
Yes, I still have many side effects that have an effect of every part of my life in some way or another. However, many are getting better. When my taste buds first started becoming a little weird, Jeff had asked the dietician and doctors when we could expect that to resolve. Again, it was said about a month after treatments are done people tend to start having some sort of taste back. Most can add more things to their diet again at that point.
Well lo and behold, my taste buds have started coming back. They started coming back during the last week of treatments already. I can’t taste everything yet, taste sweet or salty are still difficult, but I can taste the underlying flavor I am used tasting. When I told my health care team they were just astound and baffled. I believe the dietician was speechless and said something like: “That never happens”. What can I say in that moment? The only thing I know how to explain it is: “You know I have so many prayers behind me. That’s the only way to explain it”. All they could say was “yes that is very important to have”.
Letting cancer use me
When I was first diagnosed I was talking to a couple, who has gone through thyroid cancer as well. I often remember one thing she had told me; “God used that time for me to be a witness. Instead of being at work, I was sitting in a waiting room”. Often, I think of that when I am sitting in the rooms or waiting for the doctors. I often wonder how God will let me be a testimony for Him to these people who don’t necessarily know him.
I want to be an example for the staff as well as the patients. It’s easy to think that maybe we should only talk to the other patients. However, I felt more called to find opportunities to speak to my medical staff about Christs love and what he has done for me already.
Burnt skin
But, let us return to my other side effects.
Another thing I was told was my skin would get worse before better. I was, and am still expecting that to be the case. By now, most of my skin has started to peel. It is amazing, though, to see is that the skin underneath looks healthy!! Yes, you read that right. It looks just as pink as my normal skin and not red and angry like the burnt skin around it. I mean there are still spots that hurt very much. The fact that we already got snow isn’t helping with that either.
Now that it’s even colder outside, the air is also drier, which makes it a little more difficult to keep the skin lotioned up enough. It is hard to keep it from pulling and becoming even tighter. Over the last 4-5 days I have been taking Tylenol #3 to help with the pain. I have now managed to drop that down to only twice a day. Once when I first get up, and once when I go to sleep. That way, I can actually get a restful sleep.
Skin treatments
The nurses at the Cross Cancer Institute also gave me hydrogel impregnated sponges. I put those on for the night and I had no idea how amazing those can be. I can actually sleep through most of the night and nothing gets dry. The sponges keep everything nice and wet so nothing pulls.
It’s amazing how God put these people in place to come up with ideas of how to help me. It is also amazing how these things actually work so well. The sponges are usually used on burn victims so I would have never even known about them if one of the nurses hadn’t mentioned it.
Praise God is all I can say. When I first put them on they are incredibly painful but it makes the rest of the night so much better.
I am done!!
As of Friday October 7, 2016, I am officially done my radiation treatments. I have undergone 30 treatments and now get about a month break before my doctors go back and do more tests. It will mainly be bloodwork in order to see if what they wanted the radiation to achieve was actually successful.
As I mentioned in my previous post, the Cross Cancer Institute has a poem hanging with a bell in front of it sitting in almost every treatment areas. Every patient who finishes their last treatment is encouraged to ring that bell loudly to show the end of a long haul. On Friday, I got to ring the bell as well.
Ring Out
Ring this bell
Three time well
It’s toll to clearly say.
My treatment’s done
This course is run
And I am on my way!
When I got out of that radiation room all I wanted to do was ring that bell. I didn’t even see that my dad had come to support me as well, until after I had rung it. I just wanted to ring the bell so fast. Jeff, my mom, my dad and my sister Melissa all came and shared this moment with me. As you can see in the video many of the people sitting there, waiting for treatment or waiting for their loved ones to have treatment, are just as excited as we are.
Sense of Community
There is a sense of community that happens in those waiting rooms. You see each other almost every day when you come for treatment. You see the good days and the bad. Every person there is effected by this scary disease of cancer. Some are just starting out in their journey, others are about to finish and move on to the next steps.
My mom has made a few new friendships with other loved ones while she was waiting for me in the waiting room. It’s just such a blessing to have people who understand what your going through be so happy for you as well.
I wish I could be there for all of their last treatments and show them the same support. I know others will take my place and be just as happy for them. There was definitely a few tears shed that day. Tears of exhaustion, tears that showed the amount of strength it took out of me, but most of all happy, thankful tears. Thankful ones that God has brought me through this. Thank you again to everyone who prayed especially around the time of my treatments.
Church Fest
This weekend we have our annual church fest. For those of you who don’t know what that means, is it’s basically a huge thanksgiving celebration. It spans the entire weekend. It includes a guest choir from a different church as well as a guest speaker (this year from Texas). Usually many friends and family come to visit during this time and have fellowship together.
When we first heard that my treatments would be done right before the fest, I was slightly worried. Especially because it’s usually quite a few long days. They are all strung together with lots going on and many people to talk to. This year I was fortunate enough to make it to some of the Fest. Saturday I wasn’t feeling all to well, so church was not happening. I did make it to the youth gathering for a couple hours though. It was nice to see some faces I haven’t seen in a while.
Everyone is so supportive and comes up to me and tells me the same things. ‘We have been praying for you and will continue to do so’. And it truly means so much to me.
Sunday celebrations
Sunday morning I decided I would sleep in a little instead of rushing to the first service. When I woke up around 8, I took all of my medications (pain and stomach ones) and fell back asleep for a couple hours. I woke up feeling the best I had in a few weeks. Jeff and I came just at the right time for food. I actually ate a lot. It was probably more in one sitting than I ate the previous 3 days combined. I had to stop myself and slow down just to make sure everything also stayed down. My body isn’t all that used to having big meals anymore.
Jeff’s grandparents live in the building right next to our church. I could listen to the services from their living room. Jeff’s grandma made me a bed on their couch with pillows and blankets and everything around me that I could possibly need. So I was able to listen to the second service of the day from there.
I was asked if I could give a testimony at some point. I agreed but told him that I didn’t know yet what would happen throughout treatment. He asked me about a month ago. It was expected that I would lose my voice altogether, so we decided we all would pray. However, for now they would put me on the list for a testimony. I was slotted in for the Monday morning service. Because I was feeling so fantastic on Sunday, Jeff went to the pastors and asked if I would be able to do it in the last service on Sunday. That way I would probably for sure be able to give my own testimony, instead of having someone read it for me.
Lovely Change of Plans
Praise the Lord they were alright with that and it actually worked out better that way. Of course I was super nervous about going up in front of 300-400 people + whoever was watching on live stream. Many prayers went up for me through that time. I went up to the pulpit and made it through my entire testimony without even having to take a drink of water. That’s how amazing God let me feel. Now all I can do is hope and pray that God will use me and my story to bless others and glorified himself. As it says in John 15:5 “without him, you can do nothing” and it is so true.
I wish you all an amazing Thanksgiving and remember all the things we have to be thankful for. Like I said multiple times, this is probably the most thankful I have been at a Thanksgiving. Praise the Lord for his strength for it is made perfect in weakness. I have attached a video and a semi-written down version of my testimony. May god bless you all.
Testimony
Introductions
In June of this year a prayer request spread through our church here in Edmonton and then also through many other churches here in Canada and around the world. That prayer request was for me. My name is Christine Pudel. I was diagnosed with a rare type of cancer called medullary thyroid cancer on May 31, 2016. That same day I asked the pastors that remained here in Edmonton for the pastors conference to anoint me and pray over me. It is incredible to look back on these last almost 4.5 months and see Gods handiwork in everything. It is actually even more astounding to look back on the last 2 years, when my symptoms first started, and see how God has worked in my life.
When about 2 years ago I began having unexplainable neck cramps that weren’t really resolved by the regular treatments like massage or chiropractic, I started to mention it to my family physician at the time. Since there is some family history of anxiety and depression in my family the doctor chalked it up to that. He told me it was all in my head and it might just be my over anxious nerves doing this to me. I don’t know if he understood just how painful these cramps were and how much they ended up effecting my life over the last 2 years.
Emotional turmoil
It effected everything I did. It started having effects on my work were I would constantly be in some amount of pain which then also came with some sort of fatigue because I wasn’t sleeping properly anymore. My home life suffered to the point where some days I could hardly move from the pain. At one time through this whole experience I was taking upwards of 20 pills a day to try and deal with the pain. But every time I brought it up it was just in my head and maybe I needed to reduce my stress and have more massages and such.
It is so easy to look back now and be angry at that doctor. Now knowing what is really wrong with me. And on some days I want to go back to those days and yell at him for not finding my cancer earlier. But then I look at all the things God did in that time for me. He taught me more about what it means to lean on him. He taught me that sometimes it’s okay to say no I can’t do something today and sometimes it’s necessary to just push through the pain and rely on him to help me through the day. My husband Jeff and I were able to go on a trip to Europe to see all of my family and many places we had never been to before. If I had been diagnosed right away all of that wouldn’t have happened.
Fears and Doubts
I’m not going to lie and say that my faith was getting stronger in that time because it wasn’t. The devil definitely knew exactly how to get into my head and what he needed to say. A few weeks before I was diagnosed I left church a little early since I was having a particular rough day and my husband was at work anyway so it was just me. During my drive home I was overcome with such a fear and such despair. I just started crying the whole way home. The thoughts running through my head were ‘why is this happening to me? ‘I can’t take this anymore’ and the scariest of them all ‘I have enough sleeping pills at home to end it all’.
I was so terrified by these thoughts I was texting Jeff to please pray for me and what was going on. It felt like all of my prayers were just bouncing of my car roof and not going anywhere. I stayed home for only a short time and went to my parents house and spent my whole day there until my husband was on his way home. That night we both prayed and cried a lot and somehow God allowed me to be filled with such a peace again.
Fast forward to May 31, 2016. I was getting ready for the day when my phone rang and it was the surgeons office telling me I was missing an appointment I didn’t even know I had. After I ensured the receptionist we would be coming as soon as we could, I hung up the phone and turned to Jeff and just told him ‘I have cancer’ I just knew.
God Spoke though it all
In that moment God gave me the insight to mentally prepare myself for what the doctor would tell us only a short time later. After he did I felt so many things at once I cant even describe them. But what I do know is God gave me enough peace to be able to hear the doctor out and to hear what he had planned. My first surgery date was booked for June 15 but God in his might allowed that to be changed to June 20 so I could have not just one surgeon specialist in this surgery in the OR but 2.
In the past few months since being diagnosed I have learned so much from God. I have learned that I am weak. But his strength is made perfect in weakness as it says in 2. Corinthians 12:9. As I was going through radiation treatments over the last months I had to continually remind myself that God is great and he won’t give me more than I can bare. Especially on those days were the side effects just seemed too much to handle. I knew God was with me in that radiation room I could even feel him holding my hand some days.
My mom mentioned to me a few times that many were praying for me especially around the time of my appointments. And I want to thank each and everyone of you. I want to thank you all for every single prayer that you have sent up on my behalf.
God truly has done miracles on me already.
Surgery
One to be mentioned is that during surgery the doctors found that both of my vocal cord nerves were already surrounded my tumors. In order to remove all of that, they would have had to take out both of those nerves which would have left me unable to speak and with a tracheostomy for the rest of my life. God gave them the wisdom and the skill to take off as much of the tumor as they could. The miracle however was the fact that I could speak right out of surgery.
Everyone was expecting me to have at least some loss of voice but God just held his mighty had over me. The biggest miracle however is the fact that my cancer hasn’t spread outside of my neck before we caught it. This cancer is such an aggressive type that when it does spread it is very difficult to contain. So praise the lord for his saving grace. He has done so much for me that it would take me all too long to tell you about every little thing. But just know that he is a mighty healer and I definitely have felt his hand on me.
My journey is far from over. This cancer will be something that will follow me for the rest of my life in the sense that I will need to do testing and such every so often. And the potential for it coming back is also quite high. But until I reach that point there is still a way to go over the next few months while we wait to see if the 30 radiation treatments have done what the doctors were hoping for and as we find out what the next steps are in this journey.
Continued Prayers needed
It would mean a lot to me if you could continue to pray for me and my family as we walk this path together. If you would like to follow my journey through updates, there are thank you cards laid on in the back that have the web address for my blog written on them. If you want to follow that there is an option to sign up through email and get updates as I post them.
Thank you everyone but most of all Thank God. This thanksgiving I am more grateful than I ever have been. He has given me so many thinks to be thankful for. He has done so much for me that all I want to do is what is written behind me. Finish this race with joy. God bless you.
