A year ago today was one of the worst days of my life!!
Looking at these pictures that might be hard to understand until I tell you why. We were in beautiful Mexico, our last vacation before everything shut down. The weather was fantastic, the food was great, we were having a good time.
Until that moment when everything changed. I was 6 weeks pregnant and noticed bleeding. I quickly mentioned something to Jeff and basically ran back to our room. By the time I got there the bleeding was so heavy that I was convinced, I was losing this baby. When Jeff got to the room, he found me on floor of the bathroom. Sobbing and crying out to God: ‘please don’t take my baby!!’
After going through it just a few months ago, I couldn’t imagine having to face another miscarriage.
The day before, we took some of these pictures to maybe use as announcement pictures. Now when I look at them, all they do is remind me of the day. The day we thought our pregnancy was over.
The remainder of the vacation was completely overshadowed by worry, fear, some grief and lots of tears!! We decided not to go to a Mexican hospital since if it truly was a miscarriage, there wouldn’t be anything anyone could do at this point.
Once back home
We got home 3 days later, late at night. The next morning, the earliest we could get, we were getting an ultrasound. I was shaking like a leaf and crying as the tech started the scan. The tears turned into sobs of relief when she said the sweetest words ‘heartbeat 120’.
Just thinking about it, brings back all the emotions and makes me teary. It was the first time we got to see Luke growing inside me. He was healthy and growing. We found out I had a sub – chorionic hematoma. Basically, a bruise between the placenta and the uterus, between me and baby. This often turns into a sub-chorionic hemorrhage, a very strong bleed.
Over 20% of pregnancies with this diagnosis end in miscarriage, however that number is even higher when it occurs that early in pregnancy. It doesn’t seem that high, until you are the one with the diagnosis. Then 20% seems a lot higher. During the remainder of my pregnancy I had another 4 such instances of sub-chorionic hemorrhage, in which we thought we were losing this baby.
All of that made for a very anxiety filled 7 months of pregnancy. However it has been so worth it hold my miracle baby in my arms!! I think in some ways it makes me appreciate each moment so much more because I realize how close we came to losing Luke.
Now we get to hold him in our arms!
